Written by HABEEBLLAH DAMILOLA ATOTILETO


My life was no less than a bed of roses before my mother was put to rest. I had all I wanted, served to me on a platter of gold.  Our family of three was something I could call an ideal one. I had real friends who loved me and I love them too. I was barely ten years of age when she let herself hang to a rope, fastened to our fan. The cause of death; the doctors failed to identify. They said it was suicide. I call it despair. It was the most terrible day of my life. Little did I know, it was just the beginning of my worst nightmares.

Few weeks after the demise of my mother, my dad resumed drinking, which we all thought he had given up on. But I guess mum’s death hit him like a hurricane. I knew he was at his worst. Months later, he lost his job and this further drove him to the edge. There was no one to talk to except his bottles of alcohol and me, my fluffy teddy bear and comfy bed.

The day I felt my worst was a Friday, almost two weeks after dad never went out again, except to his next best place; the bar. Mum’s grave, being the first. I arrived at our apartment and met our front door flung open. My dad laid on the living room floor, his new best friends laid all around him and oblivious of my presence. They all looked empty with their body turned on their bellies. I used to wonder why he removes their heads when he wants to have a kiss which he refers to as “private discussion.” The most hilarious of it; he drains them of their content. When done, he’ll toss them wherever he deems fit. To sum it up, the living room was a mess. It wasn’t new for me to meet him as such but on this day, dad was different. 

As I walked past him, he remained motionless. Not even a groan came from him and this worried me. Yet, I went to my comfort zone and removed my clothes. About two hours had passed before I returned. I met him in the same position he was before. This was unusual but everything had been since mother’s death. So, I chose to ignore it, even though it worried me; And went out to play with my friends in our yard. The stone on mom’s grave used to be my best but I left it for Kelly, whom I named after my mother. It doesn’t talk, yet it lends me its ears while it peers at me with his dolly eyes. I, alone, understood its silence. Its small body is always warm and cosy each time I wrap my hands around it. I wonder why such a creature could be so fluffy.

The sun was already setting when I returned inside. I shut the door behind me and ate the remains of the junks, dad had brought home the previous day. He still laid on the floor where he had been. I picked up his friends with trembling fingers, hoping he would scold me for touching them. He didn’t, so I piled them up in their flat, one mum used to call crates. So lame! Everyone has a home and mum found hers. I laid them in; one room for one used friend. After placing them where they belong, there remains an empty room, whose occupant stood beside dad. I reached for it but dropped it as soon as I touched it. Dad had warned me never to touch his friends, stating they help deal with his pain. I feel no pain, so I see why I shouldn’t play with them.

I left him there and proceeded to my restroom to meet my comfy friends, whose names were pillow and bed. As I laid on the bed, talking and playing, Kelly cracked a joke and I laughed. Sooner than later, bed pushed me off its body. I was irritated and pained. If they don’t want me then it isn’t my resting place. I angrily went back to dad’s. I got there and met the only friend who talks to me, with its pointed mouth, but never cares to listen. My teacher calls it rat. What a beautiful name for a creature who never listens! Rat stole from dad junks and I didn’t tell. It would run if I did. It nudged at dad’s headless friend and told me to have a kiss. I obliged only because he was persistent and my other friends had deserted me. Maybe I could make dad’s friends mine too. I gulped its content as dad used to do and my head banged. For a second, I forgot all about what had happened. Why wouldn’t dad introduce me to his friends? I wondered.

That evening, I decided this was my new best friend. I introduced myself and on its name tag, I saw alcohol. Instantly, I fell in love! The beauty of its name mesmerised my soul.

Dad didn’t complain as I kissed his friend and drained its content in one full gulp. I also flung him away as dad used to do. Not long after, I collapsed on dad’s companion, referred to as chair. I finally found my resting place beside my dad.

This is a story for everyone out there, fighting depression, agony, frustration, loneliness among others; that being alone useless isn’t the way to keep living. There’s a whole world out there for you to explore. Do not let one pain ruin multiple gains. Give life a chance!

#SayNoToSuicide #SayNoToDepression #SayNoToLoneliness

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